Friday, November 11, 2011

FEAR NOT- BELIEVE ONLY

Hi everyone,

Here's what has happened since my last post. But first, I want to apologies for the long post (again). I can't help myself. I love giving details and all the positives that come with them. I hope you guys enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy sharing it.

By the way, for those of you who took an interest in liking blog- and decided to follow us through our journey- thank you so very much! You guys have no idea how much that means to me.  

You guys are my inspiration to keep sharing!  

If there's anything I can do to make my blog better, please do share! I'd love to hear from you!

THE FOLLOW UP

On Monday the 7th, we met with Dr.Neelam for a follow up. And although Luis was scheduled for chemo right after, he wasn't feeling up for it. He was having pain issues the last few days, and was lacking sleep.

I told him the last call was certainly up to him. We can always reschedule if rest was needed. Then, I went ahead and scheduled a last minute meet with Dr. Rahman- (the feel good doctor), to give Luis some reassurance that all is well.

As we're finishing up the conversation with Neelam, she mentioned that his blood work came back good. But they never checked for his cancer markers- so we will have to wait for that. She also didn't want to give him chemo today because a CT Scan was way past due- and went ahead to schedule one for Tuesday the 8th. We were glad about the no chemo!  That actually worked on our behalf.

POSITIVE FEEDBACK 

Shortly after Neelam, we met with Dr. Rahman regarding the pain Luis was having. He wanted to know why he was still having so much stomach pains even after the nerve block procedure. The doc said its only been 11 days since the procedure was done. And told him it can take from 14 to 21 days before the block sets.

Before that, he will have some bad days, and told him....."Just be patient." "You're heading in the right direction Luis." "It will get better, and things will improve."

"I absolutely love this doctor!" "He's so positive and optimistic about helping his patients feel better......."What a gift that is." 

I must say, later that night, Luis did seem more confident about the nerve block- and the expectations of feeling better from it. I also mentioned to him that I do recall Dr. Rahman saying, it can take up to 21 days (in some cases), for the block to finally set.

CT SCAN RESULTS

We were called back to meet with Dr. Neelam for the test results. Here's the report: There is suggestion of progression of the invasive carcinoma of the head of the pancreas.

She said the report wasn't clear enough for her. So she went back to the radiologist and pushed him to be more specific. She wanted numbers as to the size of the tumor by comparing to July 18th, 2011 scan. He couldn't be specific and suggested that it grew .2 cm.

She also mentioned, his liver is clear. Even that dark spot that was once there is no longer there. Near the biliary tube drainage also looks good. His stomach area (where he's having the pain) looks fine and suggested that the pain can be caused by gas build up.

Dr. Neelam then told us that she was worried and concerned prior to the CT Scan. But after the report came back, she was no longer worried. Luis said she seemed more at ease (as a doctor). 

However, she said his cancer markers came back up 4700- (which is to high.) And would like to give him 2 more chemo cycles- and then check the markers again to see if they've gone down.   

MY THOUGHTS         

To me, markers, numbers, scans, x rays, and blood work don't mean anything. I don't live my life from what I see in the outside world- I live from within. But I don't mind sharing these results, as I understand the mass population do go by what they see and hear.

The truth is, our senses do laugh and challenge us everyday- and say it can't be done. It's impossible. The cancer is incurable. It's hopeless. This is the outside world for us- it denies our desires. Who wants to live like that? I don't. 

This is why I suspend my senses and direct my mind to give attention to only what is lovely and of good report. My new mind focuses on health, peace, and harmony.

If I live by the real world, Luis wouldn't be here right now. Think about it! The real world tells me my husband's cancer is incurable. Back in December of 08, it told me that he had 6 months to a year to live. And he's going on 3 years next month.

It also told me to quit my job and get my priorities in order because the odds are against him. Know that odds don't mean anything. Your INTENTION is what matters. What do you intend today? I intend, as I have since December of 08, to be a believer in Luis's healing.  And I know, with God, all things are possible.

I did quit my job though, but to take great care of him. Being his caregiver has been the greatest gift ever. It has taught me so much.   

I believe God has already healed Luis. We're just going through the process until the day breaks and the shadows flee away.

Until next time........never give up, never listen to no, never listen to can't!